Laziness or respect?

I think it's a bit of both.  There are two strategies I've been using lately to, let's say, foster creativity and self-sufficiency in my children.

The first development was the creation of two self-serve snack stations.  One for dry goods in the cupboard and one in the fridge.  I stocked each station with mom-approved snacks in single serve portions.  I was tired of answering the call of "Mom, I'm hungry!  Can I have a snack?"

When I introduced the new system to my 6 year old Lucy, the look of thrill and anticipation was heartwarming.  She was so excited -- and proud -- that she now had control over her snacks.  And since they were all pre-approved, I didn't have to worry about what she was eating.  She couldn't believe that she could get whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.  (There were a few parameters though.  I discourage her snacking after about 4 o'clock when it could interfere with dinner.  This is also helping on learning to tell time.)

And since there is a picture, I'll confess that I let some of my usual "envrio-standards" slide.  Single serve fruit cups means a few more #5 plastic cups I save for painting or a trip to the recycling center at Greenlife.  And packets of Cheez-Its, but man, they are good! The bottom line is she is proud of her independence and it buys me a few more minutes to do whatever I was doing instead of dishing up yet another snack.  Respect connection: helping kids help themselves.

The second development was the creation of an activity jar.  I've seen variations in other blogs, like The Artful Parent.  But after days (or it seemed like weeks) of snow and simultaneously, a week of two kids with the flu, I needed help.  So, I resurrected the idea of an activity jar.  Lucy and I sat down and cut little strips of paper.  As she named all the activities she would like to do, I wrote one on each slip of paper, folded it up, and put in the jar.

Some of the activities are:  make a fairy house, play hide and seek, make up a song, bake cookies, do a science experiment with water, write a letter, color, and have a picnic and so on.

So with Daddy and and Gardner napping, now was my time to practice what I preach.  Into the jar her little hand went.  What was it going to be?  Make a fairy house.  She was thrilled, I was thinking, "Do I really have to bundle up and go outside?  A second cup of coffee sounds better."  But I rallied and we headed outside to build a fairy house.  It was fantastic.  We collected twigs and branches, flowers and berries.  We constructed the main house, complete with a hammock for the fairies to nap in and a coat rack to hang their little acorn caps.  We made a door out of woven vines and added a cranberry doorknob.  She decorated it all with dried flowers and leaves and lavender (a bit frosty,  but still good.)  Lastly, there was the outdoor table for the fairies with a leaf umbrella from a hydrangea bush, just in case it rained.  Lucy said it was the best day ever.

Then inside for yet another activity from the jar!  We were on a roll.  This time, it was bake cookies.  Lucy suggested oatmeal chocolate chip. Sounded like a winner to me.  We whipped up a batch and woke up Daddy with warm cookies.  Gardner got to taste-test some too after his nap.  I think they passed the test.  

How does this connect to respect?  For me, it's about letting Lucy lead the way and being willing to set aside what I wanted to do for just a brief moment.  It turned out to be one of the best days I'd had with her in a long time.  It felt great.  For both of us.